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The Witch From Nepal (1985)

Dir: Siu-Tung Ching.

While on Safari with his girlfriend, Joe (Chow) falls off his elephant (as you do) and, accident prone man that he is, then falls into a river and gets swept away....
Next thing he is in Hospital with a headache and a crushed leg where a strange girl from a peaceful tribe, named Sheila (nice Native name), comes to get Joe to be their leader (though even now I am not sure why!!).

Sheila brings with her the 'Sacred Shriveled Testicles' (well that's what they look like) that are a powerful Talisman.
To show that Chow is the chosen one she pushes him over the very high balcony of the Hospital in his wheelchair!
She jumps after him and, after much spinning of a cheesily romantic nature, they have a safe landing...and Joe's leg is mysteriously healed. he has no intention of becoming a trinal leader though.

Back in Hong Kong Joe finds the girl has followed him though and tries again to get him to be their leader.
Joe starts to have feelings towards the girl, and they end up doing the horizontal love boogie.
Understandably Joe's girlfriend is not amused.

But while all this is going on, a crazy supernatural cult leader of much evilness has hitched a lift to Hong Kong on a ship (which he leaves by blasting through the hull screeching like a jungle cat. Which is the only sound he ever makes) because he is after the 'Sacred Testicles of much Shrivelledness' and wants to kill Joe into the bargain...

 

This early Chow Yun Fat movie is like most of his early films...very hit and miss.
It's a bizarre combination (as only HK films can be) of fantasy/horror/light comedy and romance that is helped no end by Chow simply being in it.

After a very slow start (but with some major budget on show with the Elephant safari) the film kicks into gear with some enjoyable scenes of Joe trying to master his new powers (which include unwrapping sugar cubes and drawing two love hearts in the sky with an electrical pylon cable!) with Chow yet again on fine form and some crazy plot ideas.

But it's during the supernatural sequences this movie really becomes enjoyable.
To start off, when he arrives in HK 'Evil Cult Dude' rips a dog in half in mid air with his eeeevil powers (great stuffed toy effects!).
We also have a great sequence where Joe, his girlfriend and some children, suddenly find their car teleported into a fog-shrouded graveyard by the 'Evil Cult Dude'
who does a bit of mojo and makes a load of Zombies rise up (in a great "Plague of the Zombies"'/Lucio Fulci style sequence) who then attack the car before spear-like metal fence poles fly into the vehicle and turn it into a pin cushion, while the Zombies get ever closer.
It's a very atmospheric, balls-out sequence and the Zombie rising scenes are lots of fun.

The finale has Joe face off against the 'Evil Cult Dude' in an outrageous battle in the city streets (where 'Cult Dude' rides in on a horse, slashing his mighty meat bone around) that is full of the crazy special effects and flying fights and falls that we all love so much.
The battle later moves on to the top of skyscrapers, has Joe and Evil Dude crashing through windows and walls, flying between buildings and generally showing the viewer a damn fine time.

It's got its faults for sure, the slow start, the rather saccharin love scenes (complete with song...but knock the subtitles off as the nice tune hides some dreadfully cringe enducing lyrics) and a confused plot, but the supernatural escapades, the visual flair and Chow himself make for a film that deserves at least one viewing.

Search it out...you can never have enough shriveled testicles, especially ones with mystical powers!