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Parasite (1982)

Dir: Charles Band

Set in the nightmare World of a post atomic fallout America (of 1992 no less!) where things like gasoline, fresh food and even coffee ('fraid so) are a rarity and undesirables are put to work in labour camps set up in the cities, the film opens with a Dr. Paul Dean (Robert Glaudini) driving through a squalid, dust-bowl town. He was working on a project to create a parasitic bio weapon for the Government and its sinister partner in nasty deeds, The Merchants.

Hit by his conscience about what the parasite would be used for (never made clear but probably to munch on the superfluous members of society), Dean trashed the experiment but was accidentally infected. Now, with the only other remaining parasite in a metal flask, he tries to find a way to destroy the slithering beastie that has taken up residence in his stomach before it reaches puberty and explodes out of him.
To make things worse, if it reproduces (although don't ask me how, and anyway parasite porn is not a pleasant thought) it will shower thousands of parasite laying spores into the atmosphere!

The Doc sets up his equipment in a run down hotel owned by an old actress, with five tons of outrageously unsubtle make up on her face, named Maggie (Vivian Blaine), but it turns out he chose a bad town to settle in as it's under constant childish attacks by a gang of cliché 80's, angst filled, ancient looking 'teens' led by Ricus (Luca Bercovici) and his typically moronic sidekick Zeke (Tom Villard), all of whom used to be in the 'suburbs' work camps.
The gang likes to cause trouble for the local Bar 'n' Grill owner named Collins (Al Fann) and for a young women named Patricia (a young Demi Moore in a film she probably leaves out of her CV) who owns a very rare lemon grove. Seems everyone wants to get their hands on her juicy fruit.

Into this madness comes one of the merchants who is after Paul Dean to retrieve the parasite. He's a very nasty piece of work named Wolf (James Davidson) and we know he's a bad guy because he arrives in a black car, wearing a black suit and the ever-sinister… black gloves!
Before you know it Wolf is slicing bits of the locals with his trusty wrist laser as he tries to get to Paul.
Meanwhile the gang are causing big problems for everyone, things go from bad to worse for Dean, Collins serves up soup, Patricia squeezes her lemons and Maggie applies a bit more rouge to her cheeks. And the parasite has its own plans…

 

This text book example of low budget, 80's American trash film making comes to us from the mind of schlock master Charles Band who would become famous for his 'Empire Pictures' company.

Shot in that failed format to inject life into cheesy movies, 3D, "Parasite" is chock full of scenes where various objects (and the wonderfully trashy parasite itself) are thrust into the camera. Such 3D delights (created by Chris Condon) include; the end of a metal pipe, that has been rammed through a man who made the mistake of pissing off Wolf, dripping blood (a similar scene happened in that Chuck Conners trash classic "Tourist Trap"), lots people thrown into the audiences laps in crappy fights (needlessly filmed in slow motion) and dreadful superimposed laser beams. Sadly what may have been fun in the cinema (especially the parasite sequences) are of course rendered simply annoying on flat old VHS.

The effects go from the vastly entertaining (a delightfully messy and grotesque face exploding sequence as the parasite goes a burrowing), to very good (an effective, finger flexing lasered-off hand) to downright awful (the appalling laser weapon fights), and gives the film that unique low budget feel that is actually quite appealing. The parasite itself, partly created by Stan Winston, is very hit and miss. It looks suitably nasty and messy, as it drips sticky gloop into the face of the viewer, but its movements (especially its fang filled mouth)are very shoddy.

The characters are cardboard (despite having three writers who worked on the script) with only the evil Wolf being memorable as he goes from charming to lethally sadistic in the blink of an eye. It's a very enjoyable turn by Davidson. Moore is charming enough (and does show she has talent) but her role is pretty much redundant. Blaine tries to flesh out her role with a sense of sadness about what she has become, as she tries to hold onto her looks with her shocking make up, but her screen time is so short it's a lost cause. And Glaudini, although playing Dean commendably straight, comes across as rather bland.

Band's direction is rather slow and only the gore and the parasite scenes keep the finger away from the fast forward button. But Band always came across as more of a businessman making movies (with a suitably quirky approach to his work I have to admit) than a full on film director.

So it's a film with many interesting pieces, that somehow never seems to take form into a satisfying whole. Worth a look though.