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The Losers/ aka'Nam's Angels'(1970)

Dir: Jack Starret

During the Vietnam War, a Biker gang led by Link Thomas is hired by Link's army Major brother for a rescue mission into Cambodia, as the U.S army is not allowed to cross the border.
They have to rescue a CIA operative named Chet Davis (played by Director Jack Starret) who has been taken hostage by the Red Chinese. But Link hates Davis because he once had him sent to jail for five years………

A completely mad idea for a film you would think. And you would be right!
But who cares, we're here for trashy fun and cheesy thrills.
And the bloody start to "The Losers", that leads up to the enjoyable sight of a gang of 'Hells Angel' types arriving in the middle of a military camp, makes you think the fun time thrills will come thick and fast.
But sadly they don't come as often as we would like.

But let's meet our Gang before we throw some criticism around:

'LIMPY' (Paul Koslo "Mr Majestyk") - An Afro haired, shade wearing hippie dude with duff leg.

'DUKE' (Adam Roarke "Hells Angels on Wheels) - Clean-, rugged romantic type.

'SPEED' (Eugene Cornelius) - Long haired, shade wearing, beardy weirdy with the essential swastika headband.

'DIRTY DEN' (Houston Savage, killed a year later in a road accident) - Big, hairy, Iron Cross wearing racist, sexist bullyboy.

'LINK' - (William Smith "Conan the Barbarian", "Maniac Cop") -Butch idealist with an outrageous swinging earring.

They of course sport the 'Biker Uniform' of blue denim jeans, open sleeve denim tops, chains and groovy 'rug' shirts. As well as being almost permanently drunk and or stoned.

Seems that the Army is in no rush to get the mission going though as sure enough, and true to that Biker cliché, our rebellious gang head for the nearest Brothel/Bar/Opium Den (cue some much welcome topless Vietnamese prostitutes, essential to a film like this I am sure you would agree), but still find time to give poor hunch backed kids bike rides. Bless.

Despite the best efforts of their Army chaperone, the ever shouting Capt. Jackson (Bernie Hamilton the ever shouting Chief in "Starsky and Hutch"), the boys end up in various fights with the locals and the MP's. But as it's a Biker flick, these are of course vital ingredients.
Dirty Den especially spends most of the film slapping around any man, Women and child he comes into contact with and calls Women 'Bitches' at every possible opportunity.
One brawl between 'The Dirty One' and the locals' only ends when Capt. Jackson proceeds to bash all those involved over the head with a tree!

Duke is the exception here, as he uses up most of his downtime (and the audiences patience) walking hand in hand through the paddy fields with his Vietnamese girlfriend (both him and Dirty Den have been to 'Nam before) accompanied by a Female vocal love ballad that is one of the most embarrassing and ear gratingly annoying things ever forced upon Mankind.

Now all these antics (Dukes love-in aside) are entertaining enough, but as time slips by the audience is becoming more and more frustrated at the lack of action.
Although the 'dig it', 'yeah man, groovy' dialogue helps the time pass by with more of a smile than it would do otherwise.

The prolific, 'jack of all trades', Starret (who also directed the excellent "Race with the Devil" and acted the role of Gault, the sadistic Cop who takes a nose dive off the helicopter, in the classic "First Blood") seems to forget he's making an action/war flick as well as a Biker movie.

Things seems to pick up with some pre-"A-Team" 'let's make some weapons' type mechanics, as the bikes they are given to use are equipped with machine guns and armour plated screens.
But Limpy is not amused that they are Yamaha's'and not good old Harley's, and he informs us that a 'Yamaha' is a "Broads' bike"!
Limpy still has fun though as he creates a wonderfully bizarre three-wheeled bike/buggy with a huge rocket launcher on the back! Great stuff. Now let's go kick some ass!!!!

No, sorry, some more hanging around ensures as Limpy hooks up with a 'whore with a heart' and her black baby (which then opens up an hysterically bad, afternoon Soap Opera style, twist involving the absent Father), and both him and Duke bring their respective girls along for the ride.

Eventually, at last, at long, long last (after a tragic twist of fate), our 'heroes' head off into Cambodia, leaving their Army back up camped on the border.

What follows is one of the most enjoyable and crazy action sequences you will see, as the All-American Biker Gang zip around on their armoured/armed bikes (still dressed in their 'Bikers Uniforms' of course) blowing the crap out of the Viet Cong, and perform many cheesy stunts.
Much slow motion (there is in fact so much ridiculous slow motion used in the action scenes it becomes a cheesy treat in itself), blood spattered blood shed ensures.
It's loads of fun and you can't help but smile as Limpy pulls a few wheelies and shoots off his rockets.

It's trash. But it's groovy trash, and it only makes it more annoying that some of the time already passed was not spent on stuff like this rather than the fist fights and paddy field loving we were subjected too before.
Quentin Tarantino, B movie guru that he is, had footage from this attack playing on the TV in Butch's (Bruce Willis) hotel room in "Pulp Fiction". And it was a fine choice in footage, as this late in coming sequence rescues "The Losers" from the hole it was digging for itself.

It all ends in a bloody finale that is classic in its 70's cynicism.
And as the credits role (AGGH!! That damn love song again!) over a patchwork quilt of the films carnage highlights, you do indeed give praise to the off the wall action sequences, crazy basic plot and the enjoyable characters (all, at the very least, competently acted, Smith, Houston, Koslo and the nasty turn by Starret being the most successful), and yet shake your head in frustration at what could have been.