Navigation

The Amazing Mr No Legs (1975)?

Dir: Ricou Browning

Lou (the late Ted Vollrath, real life Karate 'black belt' amputee) is a Mob enforcer with a difference!
And the difference is…he has no legs!
But he can still get the job done by trundling around in a steel wheelchair, equipped with throwing stars on the wheel hubs and two shotguns in the armrests, ruthlessly wiping out anyone in the Mob's way.
Lou works for Mr D'Angelo (Lloyd Bochner) an 'Organisation' Boss who is shipping drugs hidden in cigars.
But Lou does not get on with D'Angelo and is waiting for the right moment to take over.

Two Cops, Chuck (Richard Jaeckel) and his partner Andy (with bowl haircut and porn moustache) are on the Mob's trail, but things turn personal when Andy's Sister and her drug dealing boyfriend are murdered.

So Andy and Chuck set out to dispense some justice, under the close eye of their Police Captain (veteran John Agar), and 'Mr No Legs' starts to make his own moves…(which are moves of a wheeled variety obviously).......

 

This is a genuine cult item. After a small flea pit/Grindhouse cinema life, the film almost vanished.
For home viewing it's fate was even worse, only ever released once in the UK, in the early days of video, and still only available now, even in America, via the grey market.
Basically though (some wonderful sequences aside) it's a below average Cop/Mob thriller that only really kicks into gear nearly half way through.

Following the first display of Lou's shotguns springing from the collapsible arm rests (resulting in a couple of pretty bloody shotgun wounds) the film slows to a crawl as static, lifeless dialogue scenes, less than thrilling Police investigations and dull bonding between Chuck and Andy fill the next 35 minutes.
Then, as if someone had slapped the cast and director around their faces very hard, the film finally starts to live up to it's bizarre central idea and the potential for trashy set-pieces.

Lou's disability finally becomes the film's focus point with a fun scene of him doing his press-ups on the arms of his wheelchair.
Later we are given a great sequence that is a trashy action delight!
After taking out a guy with his throwing stars (which he take ages to actually reach as the guy with the gun just stands there) we move into a totally surreal Kung Fu fight as Mr No Legs grips his wheelchair and swings his stumps to knock one guy down before crawling off the chair and having a one-on-one fight with another goon (while uttering Bruce Lee cries)!
Slumped on his stumps (which barley reach past his waist!) he blocks the other guy's kicks, scuttles between his legs and floors the dude before climbing on him and punching him in the face! We're talking 'Midget Fu' of the highest quality!
We then switch to 'Swimming Pool Fu' as Mr No legs is picked up and chucked in the water by two more guys before splashing around and kicking ass…Well, not actually 'kicking' ass obviously.
The whole sequence is outstanding in its craziness and you have to wish the rest of the film matched this and the other delightfully off the wall set-pieces.

Talking of which, another fun sequence takes place in a tiny Bar that suddenly explodes into a wild Black on White catfight, which includes strangulation by phone, broken bottle stabbing and punches in the groin. These ladies take NO prisoners
A bottle-toting Dwarf, and a Transvestite in a loose wig also join them, just to push up the 'crazy' level that bit more.
This all leads to murder and mayhem and some VERY bad 'White Middle-Aged Guy Fu' as porn 'tache Andy flails around in what's left of the Bar, with no sound effects on the punches!

The action in general is not well choreographed or directed, but it makes up for it (partly) for being just so damn strange! As well as the above examples we have a very enjoyable fight where a guy, who's already been shot once, swings away madly with a huge broad sword which he proceeds to wreck a car with!
The sight of Mr No Legs Lou (after shooting off his shotguns and so being defenceless!) scooting away like crazy on his wheels as bullets fly over his head is simply the icing on top!

The biggest action let down is that Mr No Legs himself has a very low key and rushed finale.
But, it all ends in a pretty exciting, extended (and fantastically bizarre in it's mix of locations) 'Mad Max' style car chase, with comedy country music, that must have taken ¾ of the budget! The credits feature 'Joie Chitwood and the Danger Angels', who must have supplied the stunt drivers during this excellent car chase...and a great job they did.

Onto fashions! Yes, that's right dear reader, fashions! And the're all bad.
Worst style offender is Agar who flops around in hideously loud cheque jackets and ties, and everyone sports huge flares.
And its ruffled-shirt hell during a Hammond organ backed cheesy duet by a band called 'Mercy' (who also do the end credits song) in a lounge club. What I'm basically saying here is that the fashions...they be BAD.

Performances are mostly drab (though it's always a pleasure to watch Jaeckel), and the script lacks sparkle, but we do have one great dialogue line by Chuck after an attempted bit of body theft; "This is the liveliest morgue I've ever been in"!

Overall then, a film that is a 'cult' down to its name and premise more than it's content, or at least the content of it's first half.
But get past that first 40 minutes or so and the film pounds along in a very satisfying and satisfactory manner delivering a bit of bloody violence, riotous 'Disabled Fu' and sundry crazy sights.
Worth seeking out.

Thanks to Rick Luehr for the info on 'Joie Chitwood and the Danger Angels'.