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Caligula...The Untold Story (1981)

Dir: Joe D'Amato

Caligula (David Brandon) is Emperor of Rome. And is also one crazy, mixed-up guy!
Random acts of sadism, cruelty, murder and rape are commonplace. Either ordered by, or even done by, Caligula as his iron fist squeezes Rome and its people.

One morning Caligula rapes and murders a young woman. After murdering her lover as well, he blames the Murders on the rising 'Cult' known as The Christians.

Caligula's warped psychosis leads him to believe he must compete with The Gods themselves by even more acts of wanton cruelty, and soon everyone, form his Army to The Senate are in fear of him.

Miriam (Laura Gemser) was a close friend of the young woman who was murdered by Caligula and she plans to infiltrate the Palace as a prostitute for the upcoming banquet Caligula is holding and slay the tyrant in revenge. But a startling (and very silly) twist means her scheme does not work out as planned…..

Another of Joe D'Amato's mixes of sex and violence and another of those strange amalgams of soft core groping and hardcore screwing.
And as with almost all of D'Amato's films it breezes along nicely when being violent, gory and sleazy, but basically snoozes in the corner when not.

Obviously created to cash in on Tinto Brass's overblown big budget porn and gore opus "Caligula" D'Amato actually does a very good job at recreating the period given his vastly smaller budget, supplying some nice indoor sets and 'Roman' decorated outdoor locations.
We are also given some perfectly acceptable costumes, with the uniforms of the Roman Soldiers being as good as anything Brass's intriguing but bloated creation came up with. Knowing the crafty way the Italian's work, they could be the same ones!

Music wise it's less successful though with some awfully cheesy 'muzak' playing over many scenes. Not least is the gagging 'romantic' lilts used on any scene where Caligula is not killing or raping someone.

Brandon (who's debut was in Derek Jarman's surrealistic and pretentious slice of English ultra-violence "Jubilee") does a very good job as the tyrannical Emperor (he's certainly better overall than Malcolm McDowell's take on the character as a spoilt, loony school boy) and looks suitably mad and decadent when lounging on his throne his gaping robes revealing his chalk what body. He also takes great enthusiasm in Caligula's acts of depravity, but is less successful (and rather wet it has to be said) during his many scenes of overblown 'dreaming'.
These scenes really slow the film down, basically they are turgid and pretentious but are nothing compared to an excruciatingly cheesy 'love in bloom' montage scored with easy listening romantic elevator music.

Acting overall is nothing special (not helped by broad American voices dubbed onto many of the actors) and Gemser is very low-key in her very silly role. And although she moans loud enough during some soft core screwing, (and offers her purity to The Gods via the use of a dildo) she is none of the sexual allure that she has in the "Black Emanuelle" movies).
Only Brandon really stands out, and he does have to hold the film together. Although (awful American twang aside) Sasha D'Arc as Caligula's ruthless bodyguard, Ulmar, is a very effective physical presence with his broad build and unusual skull like face.

As already mentioned though…This is a film that really exists to exploit. And as always D'Amato is one of the masters of Euro Exploitation.

A sign of things to come is shown at the start when an assassin (director Michelle Soavi who would use Brandon in his own "Stage Fright") is foiled and Caligula has the tendons in his arms and legs cut (not explicit, but very nasty due to Soavi's screaming) and his tongue cut out.
The poor crippled sod is then kept in an alcove to be mocked and tormented and felt up by Caligula's many women!

Other delightful acts include the infamous mass execution of some plotters and their Families, where the men are forced to the floor and have spears pushed very slowly up their anus to rip out of their chests!
But overall (that sequence aside) the film is nowhere near as bloodthirsty of Brass's version.
And the finale is definitely tame compared to it.

But it's obviously the sex that D'Amato is really interested in. And although the hard core (which comes in after 40 minutes) is not as well staged, and certainly not as well edited, as it's more flamboyant counterpart it most certainly has it's moments due to D'Amato's love of the grotesque visual.

As the soft core drifts away, the best scenes being a foursome with 2 women, Caligula and another man and an underwater swimming scene where the women are de-flowered via dildos held by men who swim up between their legs, we are treated to the first hard core sequence.
A blow job/fucking, group female masturbation scene as the women are 'trained' up in the 'art of love' (the lead up to which was a funny bit of exploitation where potential prostitute fodder have their groins gawked at and bottoms squeezed to check for firmness!).

But the big sex sequence is the Orgy scene.
This is an extensive sequence (in fact the plot simply stops for this mammoth set piece to play itself out) that shows off to perfection D'Amato's sleazy eye for what the audience wants, and what it's not expecting!
As two podgy Gladiators smash each other in the face with spiked gloves, spattering the guest with blood as they chew on bits of chicken, the orgy heats up.
Such scuzzy delights include a toothy old lady having a fumble under a man's toga, bald head kissing, hard core masturbation/oral. Penetration sex complete with cum shots, the infamous horse scene where one of the women deemed too unattractive to lie with the men masturbates a horse (in shot) before presenting herself for mating (out of shot) and a delightful scene of an old man puking before kissing a women firmly on the lips
The sex is an interesting mix of Hetro/Homosexual coupling (which again adds a nice decadent air to the proceedings) and hats off to D'Amato for having sexual participants that are a mixture of the old, the young, the Black and the balding. Say what you want about the poor late Joe…but he was certainly not prejudiced!

Overall then, one of D'Amato's more interesting projects, which is better made (and funded) than most of his films with some good sex scenes, some cruel violence, an honest attitude to it's exploitation, and some mild but welcome gore.
But again, as so often happens, it's a film that desperately needs some life kicked into it when it's not being exploitative.

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