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Brutes and Savages (1978)

Dir: Arthur Davis

Arthur Davis was a film distributor, a 'showman'. And then he decided to make his own movies…and here is one of those results. And it shows that he remained much more a showman than a filmmaker….

With his jet black porn mustache and bizarre looking 'Beatles' hair good old Uncle Arthur decided to set off with a small film crew to South America and supposedly Africa, to bring the unwary public some insight into other cultures. What a guy!

We start with the rather splendid tones of British actor Richard Johnson (he of the classic "The Haunting" and who was once considered for James Bond, and of course of Lucio Fulci's rather less grand but iconic "Zombi 2"), obviously slumming it big time, narrating the virtues of Arthur Davis and his noble motives.
Surely Johnson was just reading blind as the hysterically bad scenes unfolding in no way match the worthy (if wildly over the top) words being uttered. Though even if this is true, he must have cringed at the script!

Davis starts off in what is meant to be the Sudan. But according to well-informed sources was probably just Florida. Why this conclusion you ask? Well read on, for as you shall see this is as authentic as Hitler's diaries…..

Davis must have equipped himself from "Explorers R Us" as he plods around in his crisp, bright, off pink safari suit to meet the Tribal Chief (who sports a very new looking, rather garish, day glow yellow wrap with polka dots). From the start he does not even bother to try and make the camera set ups 'real'. It's all filmed from various angles with master shots and close ups.

To Riz ("Mondo Cane"/"Cannibal Holocaust") Ortolani's schlock jazz/sleazy funk score we are treated to shots of the 'Native' women rubbing oil into their own and each others breasts. And as the body beautiful men of the Tribe appear what stands out is how all these 'Natives' from the voluptuous women to the sculptured males are far from authentic.

We are informed that any man who has sex with the Chief s Daughter must fight three of the Chiefs champions. So sure enough we are treated a soap opera set up of a warrior pouncing on said Chief's Daughter.
The resulting fight, (after they decapitate a goat and shake the dripping head around) with the three other warriors, is a ponderous bit of bad choreography with the men hitting each other with long sticks where bright red paint, being wiped from the end of the stick onto the man supposedly being hit, stands in for actual wounds. One long shot even shows the 'lethal' stick actually stopping a long way from the actual 'victims' prone body.

All this above footage is new to this 'Synapse' DVD the review is based on.
The end of the 'African' footage is a manhood initiation where, very grown up looking, 'boys' have to cross a crocodile filled river. This was the only supposed Sudan footage in the original U.S cinema release in 1982 (and was the inspiration for the infamous main, 'artists' impression', image of a huge crocodile with a man in it's jaws used on the hyperbole filled poster) where it was shoved in the middle of the South American footage.

Davis uses stock footage of lots of real crocs going into the river, which then changes to one very small and very silly looking hand painted model crocodile (that at times seems to change to a damn hand puppet!) when the 'Native' is attacked.
Even worse is to come though as the muddy brown water of the river that the 'Native' stands in, used for the wide shots, is then replaced by the crystal clear blue water of what is obviously a swimming pool for the actual close ups of the attack!
The ultimate fate of the 'Native' is to bleed that bright red paint again, and have rubber, green hued, limbs bob up to the surface.
The final shot of an immobile, bobbing around in the swimming pool, model crocodile holding the Worlds worst fake head (with bright white painted eyes the size of a fist!) between it's pearly white teeth is so inept, so utterly terrible in every technical way possible, that you almost want to shriek with mad joy at the size of the balls on Mr Arthur Davis for inflicting this cinematic atrocity on the World.

Bolivia and Peru beckon next.
Here Mr Davis gets all worthy at a slum Indian village.
We are informed children are dropping like flies, and that the people are broken of spirit, corrupt and are only wearing bright clothes to hide the shame of their filthy lives from sensitive Uncle Arthur and his cameras!
Then the crazy narration tells us that the Indians wanted the crew to film the children so that the 'evil camera spirits' would strike the poor little sods down so there would be less mouths to feed! True? Well sweet and homely Uncle Arthur says it is.
Best bit though is the final narration…"We left this place depressed and named it… 'Death Village'.
OY! You at the back! Stop laughing!

At another Indian village they want to film the ancient 'Turtle Wedding Ceremony', but they are refused permission by ol' Chiefy.
But brave Arthur (as the narration gravely tells us) decides to risk his very life to secretly film this ritual and capture it for us. What a nice man.
So with the least secret looking footage ever seen, made up of perfect compositions, wide open space close ups and multiple angles, Uncle Arthur shows us what we are forbidden to see!!!!!
Which is an Indian lad sporting groovy pink shorts and a gap toothed grin, asking to marry a girl and bringing her Dad some fish to show he's sincere.
Dad's pleased. So off they go to the beach where a poor turtle is very slowly butchered by slicing open its throat and draining the blood.
The love birds have a little swig of this turtle blood and the lad proceed to rub the rest on the girls belly (and hey! Underneath the little Indian skirt the girl wears fetching white polka dot panties! Who'd a thought it!?)
Then it's off to the marital hut for some very funny sex where they rub Toucan beak strap on dildos against each other before they strip off completely (with much pubic and underarm hair on display of course) and proceed make cheesy love in a hammock all accompanied by some comedy jazz!

Next it's sacrifice time again. And this time it's really hardcore as a live llama has its head almost severed as another man rips open it's belly, rams his hand in and pulls out the still beating heart. This is graphic and disturbing stuff for sure but does at least seem to be part of a genuine ritual and the more shaky and 'rough' camera movements have the authentic feel of a real, live event being filmed. Something missing from most of the other sequences in the film.

Next we have various, more than likely and sometimes obviously staged, animal on animal violence. Including an amazingly dull slow motion sequence of an eagle eating a snake and a crocodile snapping up various creatures on the riverbank.
The only plus point about all this is that the footage of the crocodile brilliantly shows off what a powerful and all round impressive creatures it is.

Next it gets surprisingly serious as we cover the picking and preparing of coca leaves to be made into cocaine. It's a sober bit of film really as the simple Indians harvest huge sacks worth of leaves for a minuscule price while the drug barons make millions selling the resulting cocaine.

Up next is tedious footage of Indian shepherds having a ritual stone fight. Sleep is starting to close in….But what's this??!!
It's kindly but creepy Uncle Arthur again who has set up a bit of brain surgery for what is supposedly one of the Indians who got bashed on the head by one of those stones.
So it's time for a spot of, what seems to be, genuine operation footage, as the patient has a slice of skull removed and his brains poked about a bit! It's gross, but it wakes you up!

Next up Davis the Creep shows us some erotic pottery! And there is something rather uncomfortable as he holds up the artefacts sporting erections and indulging in a spot of 'oral pleasure'. We are informed that they were made by a people who "believed in satisfying their urges whenever, and however, they could".
As creepy Uncle Arthur peers at them the viewer can't help but think that he would have approved.
Mind you, I wouldn't mind owning the 'penis tea pot'. What a hoot when guests call!

Crass exploitation appears once more with a repulsive sequence of a jaguar being attacked in the shallows by three crocodiles. A set up? Well it was damn lucky for the filmmakers to happen across a big cat in a river full of crocodiles if it wasn't.

As our terrible trip draws to a close we see packs of Llamas mating to a honky tonk piano soundtrack as those fun loving Indians look on and have a bit of a roll in the dust with each other.
As a group of Indian males pretend to mate with some female llamas, with much butt bobbing and testicle wobbling, and as sad, slumming Mr Johnson tells us that "Violence lurks in all of us. So does the brute and the savage", we finally reach…'The End'.

Well then, how to sum this stinker up?
Barely anything to be taken seriously, almost no authentic footage of any real worth or shock value outside of the animal snuff and the surgery, narration that paints whatever picture Davis wants of the people he is filming (as there are no actual interviews with any of them), truly, truly, TRULY awful special effects, wildly out of place (if often fun and funky) music and some very suspicious animal deaths.
And the silly and creepy Arthur Davis himself of course.

Any slice of exploitation/grindhouse movie making is worth at least one watch in my view and that applies to "Brutes and Savages" as well.
The sheer weight of badness and crass exploitation on show here certainly brings up that old, old cliché 'so bad it's good' and indeed a lot of this is indeed so bad it's good…But beware, a lot of it is also so bad it's just plain BAD!

But remember, if you pick up this DVD, don't blame me if you have nightmares about creepy off pink moustaches trying to feed you to crocodiles. You have been warned!